#idk. at the very start of a la mode i feel like it had some interesting stuff but is gotten less so
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be-good-to-bugs Ā· 2 years ago
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god the heartcatch op goes so hard
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eldritch-elrics Ā· 1 year ago
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actually i lied. i'm not going to sleep i'm going to talk about plasm wraith.
why does it want olimar so badly? here's a couple thoughts i had.
first of all, it's got a hole in its face. i wonder if that could symbolize some sort of incompleteness. (a la fecto forgo/elfilis from kirby...!) it wants olimar because it's decided that he will make it whole, maybe? bit of a stretch, but olimar does call attention to that hole so i'm wondering why it could be there.
regardless, i bet it's lonely. all the other enemies in that area turn into goop when you kill them, so it seems like it's created this whole ecosystem by itself... perhaps to keep it company? to keep olimar company? i'd say it's implied that plasm wraith is in some way sentient, so... man. that would be so sad!
the low-hanging fruit is the interpretation that plasm wraith's fixation on olimar is romantic/sexual. i think that's kind of boring. it's this weird inhuman monster; idk if it has a concept of "romance"! and i love monsterfucking & trying to make weird ships work out as much as the next guy, but eh, this relationship just seems too one-sidedly toxic. it's more interesting to choose different avenues of interpretation here imo. (though it's very very funny to make jokes about "yandere slimegirl," as me and my friends have been doing..)
personally - and i've only just started thinking about this so my thoughts may evolve later - i think it makes a lot of sense to view the plasm wraith's feelings as a twisted version of the pikmin's. the pikmin view olimar as something akin to a parent - perhaps the wraith views olimar as something akin to a child? it's very gentle with him, it "hugs" him, it forms itself into a protective shell around him... and it seems like it keeps forcibly activating his suit's sleep mode, perhaps to keep him calm or docile, or perhaps because it assumes he needs more sleep, like a baby...
"protection" is really the big theme i'm thinking about. it's not hard to read olimar's story in pik3 in contrast with his story in pik4. he crash lands on a planet, is in a sort of desperate state, comes across a weird creature, and the weird creature gets very attached to him and in a way keeps him away from others visiting the planet. though this time olimar's suit wasn't damaged, i wonder if the plasm wraith's instinct was to keep him in the oak (where there are no real monsters, only plasm clones) in order to protect him from the outside world.
(or maybe his suit WAS a bit damaged, and that's why it keeps activating sleep mode?)
as in that post i just reblogged - there's for sure a running theme of olimar's fate being intertwined with pnf404 and the creatures there. they love him so much, and sometimes it's wonderful and sometimes it's terrifying because it's a love that can't be understood in human terms. they want to keep him, because he completes them somehow.
finally, i'm wondering if louie met plasm wraith before olimar did (that's how he knows what it tastes like...) and that's why he warned him away from the oak. if so, what did the plasm wraith think of louie, i wonder?
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copperphysics106 Ā· 1 month ago
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Which hunter do u think is the best choice to be the dad that stepped up for jack
Omg I'm so sorry it's been a few days I didn't check my inbox-- however I HAVE ANSWERS. So sorry, I wasn't ignoring this, just haven't had much time to respond.
I have a few selections that make sense (erm to me anyway):
Cabot: I think in a scenario where the hunters survive, or at least some do, Cabot would have taken Jack under his wing! He's already got Dad-energy, although Jack is..... very disrespectful regarding his daughter. in that one convo at least. I think that during hunts Cabot would be very hands off regarding Jack, he knows he can handle himself, BUT if things go to shit and he gets hurt he would be going Full Dad Mode. This is probably the better choices for the dad that stepped up . Plus Bucket can be an annoyed mother, serving Jack terrible food that he hates, creating a wonderful and diverse environment in which Bucket threatens to poison his food and Jack tells him he's going to, idk, do something insane, like rip out his rank rajat core and put it in an actual bucket every morning at breakfast! šŸ˜
Slim: Dad that stepped up? MORE LIKE DADS THAT STEPPED UP! Slim and Crow taking Jack and Emet under their wing is like one of my biggest, most thought about headcanons! So Slim is a lot like a brother to Jack, BUT I feel like there's some Dad energy too? Like his dragonfly joke is great but also so dad-jokey. I actually have an AU-half canon type fic that has been sitting in my drafts for like. Two years. Never finished it but I've thought about these Four A Lot. I think Crow and Slim would only begrudgingly look after Jack at first, but once things on Shear go to shit and everyone is dying, I think they'd pull out of there and bring Jack with them, or maybe it can happen at the end if they all happen to survive, they'll live on Shear and slowly recover from the shared trauma together. Yay! I feel like Slim would've felt a lot for Jack once Ida died, like... he'd probably feel responsible too bc he wasn't on the planet while it happened and is also already kind of looking after Jack and has listened to Jack vent/joke about how absent Ida has been from his life,and when Ida dies, Jack is still devastated, I mean she is still his mother and his feelings about her are complicated*. Anyway, that's that one.
Emet: So this one is a bit more situational and AU-ey. I have a AU where, it's still set on Shear, Jack is abandoned as a baby/young kid, Emet breaks out of his programming somewhat while on a rescue mission a-la Wall-E style and stumbles across him while he is trying to escape from being shut down. He adopts Jack, raises him best he can, when Jack is old enough he starts experimenting on Emet mostly for fun, Emet doesn't mind so much. In this AU a lot of the Hunters live on Shear (though, obviously, they're not Hunters) and Emet runs into Cabot and Bucket a lot, they dislike Emet looking after a child by himself. Emet avoids them a lot. Then, when the Monsters come to Shear, Jack starts equipping Emet with the same weapons and the DC (btw, DC hates that RC is so Dadbot coded, but does actually care for Jack in his own way that is kinda weirdly sweet). Then the game happens as semi-normally as it does.
Sooo... best choice? I think the best choice is probably Cabot and Bucket, I feel like Cabot knows what he's doing x'D But my favourite is probably still Slim and Crow bc I think their brotherly dynamic with Jack and Emet is fun. One thing is for sure: Ida definitely isn't the Dad that stepped up, she isn't even the mum that stepped up. All of the choices I mentioned would do a better job than she did probably.
*Jack's feelings regarding Ida as a parent. Mathew Colville referenced this conversation from Indiana Jones concerning it:
Indiana Jones : It was just the two of us, Dad. That was a lonely way to grow up, lonely for both of us. I can remember the last time we had a drink together; I had a milkshake. But we didn't talk; we've never talked. If you'd been an average and regular father, like all of my friends' dads, you would've understood. Professor Henry Jones : I was a wonderful father. Indiana Jones : Yeah, how? Professor Henry Jones : Did I ever tell you to eat up, go to bed, wash your ears, or do your homework? No. I respected your privacy, and I taught you self-reliance. Indiana Jones : What you taught me is that I was less important to you than people who've been dead for 500 years in another country. And I learned it so well, that we've hardly spoken for 20 years. Professor Henry Jones : You left just as you were becoming interesting. [He closes his diary] Professor Henry Jones : Okay, I'm here now. So what do you want to talk about? [Indy finds himself at a loss for words] Indiana Jones : Iā€¦ I can't think ofā€¦ anything. [Henry looks baffled] Professor Henry Jones : Then what are you complaining about? We have work to do.
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sarrie Ā· 11 months ago
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Ok fuck it I'm in a Music Mood and I'm going to include youtube links to all of my favorite Depeche Mode songs per album so this post is probably going to load like ass I apologize. Why am I doing this?? idk man growing up my dad listened to a ton of Depeche Mode and as a teenager I would lay in bed with headphones on listening to all my dad's old Depeche Mode CDs they've kind of just been present my whole life.
(i wish we could make our own customized Keep Reading text Ć  la livejournal dot com)
From Greatest Hits (1987) because, listen, the amount of singles and single round-ups they have is wild so we're just going to start here since it includes a majority of what i like pre-1987 onward. Also I wish I could just share the entire album lmAO but i'm trying to keep the lists like. top top favorites.
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I feel like Shake the Disease is this very bare bones version of Depeche Mode. Like, it's the staples. All the things that make up their future songs are there, but they haven't quite gotten comfortable in their style yet. It's such a good starting point for their sound, to me.
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(tw referenced self harm in lyrics) Was I like 16 listening to this song and crying? MAYBE. The heavy industrial pushing this moody synth. Uuggghh IT'S SO GOOD. Surface level this song is good, and then you're going through some hard shit in high school and it becomes something that helps keep you together.
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(cw flashing/strobing images at 1:06 to 1:17, and 1:54 to 2:02) The fucking dancing. The peppy "You treat me like a dog, get me down on my knees. :D" The superimposed dancing. It is, indeed, just A lot.
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Another classic tbh. I love the train sounds at the beginning of the song. "Metropolis has nothing on this You're breathing in fumes, I taste when we kiss" I'm feral the imagery in this song is so so good. This is also a song where I feel like Dave's vocals really shine. And again got me weak with the Dave + Martin combo at the interlude.
Music For The Masses (1987)
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Never Let Me Down Again is like. idk. one of those high ranking songs for me. The lack of separation between homoerotic subtext and the glaring drug addiction in the lyrics is so good. (I know it's about the drug addiction more than anything, but the vibes are there.) Soundscape-wise I LOVE how big this song feels. Depeche Mode is so good at that, though. I don't know how to explain it better, but it's like even if you're listening through headphones their music just fills the room.
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Is it a list without Strangelove?? I give in to sin Because you have to make this life livable But when you think I've had enough from your sea of love I'll take more than another riverful Like y'all come on lmao.
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I remember not particularly liking this song and then getting to the vocals/lyrics. The harmonizing between Dave and Martin's voices is so good. There is a comment on genius for the lyrics of this song that just says: The song is obviously about sexual submission, a subject in which Martin Gore is very interested. Which. Ok mood, Martin. But, I DUNNO MAN I feel like you can never be that face value with their music like that. That being said, good for him.
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Did some digging on song meanings and one thing I got for this one was a younger man and an older woman in a relationship, with the narrator explaining to the younger guy what the older woman got out of the relationship which is. Interesting?? You get into the lyrics and it definitely fits. And then at like 2:04 it breaks into this tone shift and then the piano at 2:25 the whole thing becomes very serious. It's one of those songs that just kinda tells a story.
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c6jpg Ā· 2 years ago
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hrmmmmmeajsdfkjfd so i finally did the 3.3 interlude quest and i have mixed feelings on it
at the very least this really solidified how much i like wanderer as a character LMAO my favorite parts were really when he was just being a fucking bitch to everyone, like that whole segment during blue irminsul mode and when he and la signora were having that little spat. so i really enjoyed it in the sense i just really love seeing wanderer on-screen.
but in general the whole. hm. erasing yourself from history thing felt kinda idk. plot convenience. and how quickly wanderer jumped back into accepting it after seeing the memories and regaining also felt very. idk. forced character and plot convenience.
like good character writing is when you can really feel/understand the character growth but with wanderer it felt very much like a light switch like one moment he was going through all this denial and anguish and then suddenly he was like "actually yeah this is fine".
and i think a lot of this comes from the continued issue of we're forced to do everything through the traveler. i think it would have made a lot more sense for wanderer's own character development if HE was the one that kept his memories after the fact, and HE was the one who went around inazuma to find out really nothing had changed at all. it just felt dumb having the traveler do this and be like "okay here's the situation" and wanderer just being like "okay damn i did some fucked up stuff and it was all futile so you should actually give me my memories back so i can atone for my actions"
like i don't really know how to explain it just very idk. ??? flat. it feels like nothing really happened. we basically got retconned but nothing changed and i didn't really feel wanderer's road to acceptance. so like what was the point of all that. like i get the point ig was there wasn't a point like you can't change the past like that but it still felt rather useless because wanderer's character growth which would usually be the point felt equally unnatural and pointless.
that's a lot of ways to say the same thing i'm sorry ajfdklsd
also nahida out here playing 6D chess feels a bit :| when it's like "wow you had this planned from the start??!?!??@?$?@#??" like i get she's the god of wisdom but come on now
oh also the npc model they gave niwa was so jfdaklfjs it was even worse than takuya like it literally looks like they took some random NPC off the streets and gave him a kaedehara wig šŸ˜­
anyways i named him arashi because i'm uncreative like that :)
another aside actually, i know this is where his mental stability probably completely snapped but i love this expression
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piracytheorist Ā· 3 years ago
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The first notation says "ć“ć“ć‹ć‚‰ć¼ć‚ę³£ćć—ć¾ć™" (~aprox "here is when I really started crying") and the other > "she was crying again and I'm pretty sure she also said "I love you" - or tried to; Rose said "ę„›ć—ć¦ć‚‹ć‚ˆ""
yeah she said "ć†ć”ć‚‚ę„›ć—ć¦ć‚‹ć‚ˆ" ("I love you too") but it got a bit understandably messy by the crying (me too Harumaki-san, me too ;_;)
"yt ALMOST got me, as the video was age restricted... but thanks to some vpn loopholes, I found a way to watch it!"
Age restriction? but you're 27? youtube wut. Is it bc of laws in Greece or something? I know there are vids that get country blocked.
About the languages, I can't remember what it said in Spanish at that point but I very much remember the Heisenberg naming his siblings "la zorra chupasangre, la muƱeca psicĆ³pata y el p*to besugo" (the bloodsucking bitch, the psychopath doll, and the f*cking fish/idiot (it's a common fish, but it's also an insult like dumb/dimwit/idiot - lmao it gets across the 'moronic freak' 'Moreau-nic freak' thing ig)
-laa
the way I never got that "Moreau-nic freak" pun in the first place
WHY DOES IT HIT ME SO MUCH, TO REALIZE SHE DID SAY "I LOVE YOU TOO" AS A RESPONSE TO ROSE'S I LOVE YOU?? I had suspected it was that, and I was like YES WE LOVE ETHAN WINTERS šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Like legit one of the reasons I'd love to play as Rose in a future RE game is because we know she loves Ethan so much šŸ„ŗ and only because she knows what he did for her (like ik I talk a lot about the first time I watched that cutscene and how I wasn't that invested in Ethan then, but EVEN THEN I was touched by how she told him she loves him. My heart!). I feel like I'll immediately connect with her through that šŸ˜­
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Yeah, there's this stupid thing I get into some videos where yt asks me to verify my age. Because I do happen to be 27, but yt wants proof. In what form, you ask? By asking me to show them a photo of my ID card or give them my credit card info. I have no single clue where that came from and why it exists. It's legit, it's not a scam, it's gĪæĪægle itself asking me for that info. And I know there are multiple people who haven't done any of those yet they can still watch age-restricted videos. It's stupid and super annoying. Why does gĪæĪægle want such private information just so I can watch gameplays of a horror game? Certain ones, specifically, because most are not age restricted! I don't know what they're smoking in gĪæĪægle, but it's crap.
I tried using a vpn to pass through it, but I was still blocked out, so I'm pretty sure it's not because of the laws here (though I have found videos that are blocked in my country, specifically, the videos with the soundtrack from Outlander are blocked here for some stupid reason, and I can watch them with a vpn enabled). The vpn I have has an autopilot mode, which I guess makes me appear... nowhere, I guess. Like, normally, without the vpn on, my yt logo looks like this:
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And if I put it on some of the few places it offers for free, I get the respective logo change:
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But if I put it on autopilot...
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I belong nowhere. yt doesn't know what to do with me, and it allows me to watch age restricted videos. Perhaps it thinks I'm on a Space Station and so I'm a legal adult so I am allowed to watch what I want. Idk. Really fucked up that they ask me ID or credit card info to allow me to watch "adult stuff", if you ask me, but that's how capitalism and megacorporations work.
//
And back to RE stuff, I don't know how "canon" the dubs are considered (I mean, the ones the game itself offers are official, but still), but I like looking around for any differences even in like, small things. Like in the Four Lords scene, when Ethan looks at his restrained hands and says "Don't I get a say in this?", in Italian, Spanish and I think Portuguese, he says "Isn't my opinion important?" and I may not be an official translator myself, but I do kinda wanna make unofficial Greek subs for the game (if I ever figure out how to change the game files), and in Greek I would translate that into (almost literal, because our way of putting accent on the "me" would be to kind of repeat the word at the beginning of the sentence) "Aren't you gonna ask me?" because that's how I feel someone would say that in Greek, like, a literal translation of "Don't I get a say in this" could work but it would sound a bit archaic and even too formal for the situation. In any case, with the dubs and what little I understand from them, it feels like I'm watching the same thing but from another perspective. I wish I could understand the Japanese version, I feel like it's probably the closest to what the writers intended.
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purplesurveys Ā· 4 years ago
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1131
survey by lilprincess
Approx. Time you began this survey: 6:46 on a Wednesday evening.
Describe your mood right now: Erm, a bit exhausted because I just ended a work shift; but content for the same reason. Right now Iā€™m simply looking forward to dinner and crashing on the couch or my bed, wherever I feel like sleeping tonight.
Spell your first name without vowels: Rbn. Letā€™s just also remove y for this one.
Age you will be on your next birthday: 23.
Zodiac Sign: Taurus.
Do you believe what your horoscope says about your sign? I do not believe in astrology whatsoever.
What state/region do you live in? Somewhere in the Philippines somewhere close to Metro Manila.
Height: Like 5ā€²1ā€³ ish. I had a massive growth spurt in 4th grade that also ended in 4th grade, which will always be a funny story to tell people lmao. I went from being placed at the back of the class line to the front really quickly.
Do you smoke? Super occasionally. My last cigarette was like...all the way back in February last year. It was easier to hide the smell around my family before, but because my parents and siblings have mostly been staying at home in the last year it would be so easy to weed out the smell. I never feel like smoking anyway since I vape, so thereā€™s been no reason to seek it out.
Do you drink? Yeah, sometimes socially and sometimes on my own if I wanna unwind and feel a lil buzz come through.
What's your ethnic background? Southeast Asian, specifically Filipino.
What's your religious background? Technically my ~background~ would be Catholic since I was born and baptized in that faith, but Iā€™ve long let go of this. Excluding one very brief period in high school, religion was something I never held much belief and faith in, even if I've been taken to literally every Sunday mass for the last 23 years and even if I was enrolled in Catholic school from preschool to high school.
What's your natural hair color? Black.
What;s your natural eye color? Dark brown, almost black.
Do you have any bad habits you want to break? I do overtime work a lot but used to seldom file it on our company shift log sheet because I get shy that they must think Iā€™m doing it just to be paid more, lol. Iā€™m starting to file them every time I do OT though because fuck it, pay me.
Name a few of your positive habits. I like that I always find a way to meet deadlines. I like that Iā€™m selfless, even though some would see it as a flaw. Iā€™d rather do too much than say I never did anything at all.
Have you ever lived in a foreign country? No, the most Iā€™ve done was travel to one for a week.
Did you vote in the Nov. 6 2012 presidential election? No because I am not American -___- The last election that took place before I was eligible was in 2010, and had I been able to vote then, I wouldā€™ve given mine to Gibo Teodoro, who I believe was the most qualified at the time.
Are you even eligible to vote? Yeah, Iā€™ve been for the last 5 years. Iā€™ve voted twice - once for the presidential elections back in 2016, and the next was for the senatorial elections in 2019.
Are you right handed or left handed? Right-handed.
When you write, is your penmanship usually neat or do you tend to scribble? It starts off neat for the most part, but it gradually gets messy and becomes more like a scribble if weā€™re talking about writing several essays in one sitting, which was usually the case in my exams in college.
Have you ever experienced an accident? (of any type): Sure, Iā€™ve been in car accidents before. Iā€™ve also been shocked once.
Do you have/want children? They would be nice to have, yeah.Ā 
Are you environmentally conscious? For the most part, yeah. But there are some things that canā€™t be helped, like me driving. Unless the government does something about the shitty public transport system that we have and have had for decades, I refuse to take it.
What's your favorite mode of transportation? Like I said, my own car. If Iā€™m traveling, by plane.
Do you prefer 80's - 90's music compared to today's music? Eh, not at all. I prefer music produced these days.
Are you more of an introvert (quiet/shy), or extrovert (social butterfly)? Iā€™ve been more of an extrovert in the last few years but I will always be shy at first upon meeting new people, like that will never change. I warm up a lot quickly now, though.
What's your favorite emoticon? :)
Do you miss the good old days of hand-written letters? I caught the super super super last part of this era, so I didnā€™t even get to experience it. I know snail mail was still kind of a thing when I was a kid, but at the same time that was happening my mom was also already using email to keep in touch with my dad, so.
Nowadays, though, when I do write letters to loved ones, I will still prefer to make handwritten ones, especially for a significant other or best friend. I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever sent out a computerized long letter.
Do you enjoy receiving or giving more? Giving, but itā€™s nice to be treated too sometimes.
Are you good at keeping secrets? Sure.
Do you take or give advice more often? I donā€™t usually get into situations wherein Iā€™d have to do either, but I think Iā€™ve been asking for advice more, especially over the last few months.
Do you have your driver's license? ā€œI got my driverā€™s license last week, just like we always talked about...ā€ Haha this question made me sing a bit. Anyway, yeah, I got it shortly after I turned 18 since I needed to quickly learn before college started.
Would you rather be poor & happy or rich but miserable? Rich but miserable. Soz but Iā€™d solve 4854983594857 of my problems if I never had to worry about money.
Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Never.
Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Probably not blocked, but Iā€™ve unfollowed some current Facebook friends and unfriended others entirely.
Do you think recreational marijuana should be nationally legalized? Idk much about the topic since itā€™s taboo enough where I live, but sure, I guess?I havenā€™t heard one bad word about the effects of marijuana.
Describe your perfect first date. Iā€™ve never really had a first date, but I imagine an ideal one would be pretty lowkey, just a stroll around a nice city and maybe have fancyish dinner somewhere.
Have you ever been high? Nope.
Have you ever watched a NC-17 rated film? Sure. A good handful of Kubrick films pass for NC-17, right? Iā€™d be surprised if they werenā€™t, lol. Iā€™ve been scarred by some of them for sure.
If you ever become reincarnated as an animal, what would you want it to be? A dog.
Do you remember where you were/what you were doing on September 11, 2001? No; I was 2 years old. I did ask my parents where they were in those moments, and my mom understandably missed most of it since the entire thing unfolded in the late evening in the Philippines. The only thing she can recall was being insanely worried for my dad, who had just started to work in the US back then.
Do you ever wish you were of a different nationality/religion? Yeah, to a certain extent, just because the political and socioeconomic situation here is very messy and it doesnā€™t really give us the nicest reputation in front of the world. Iā€™m proud of my Filipino culture and heritage though.
Are you more of a junk food addict or health nut? Health nut is the last thing anyone should be calling me. But Iā€™m not so much a junk food addict either? I do like spoiling myself with food, but I still monitor my intake.
Do you believe Antarctica should be considered the 7th world continent? Isnā€™t it already though?? Weā€™ve always been taught there were 7 continents and Antarctica is one of them lol.
Describe your own sense of humor in 1 word: Gen-Z, if that counts as one word.
Have you ever quoted the Bible (or any other Holy Book)? If I ever did it was probably meant to be sarcasm.
Have you ever completed a Sudoku puzzle? No. Never figured out how to play it either.
Would you rather be a nuclear physicist or marine biologist? Marine biologist. Thatā€™s one step closer to one of my loves, biology. Plus I was never any good with physics, so.
Do you have a deep, dark secret you're hiding from every one? I guess.
Would you rather be able to soar like an eagle or swim like a dolphin? Iā€™d make my childhood self happy and go with flight.
If you wanted to learn a foreign language, what would it be? Korean so I can finally stop reading subs, hahah.
Are you bi-curious? No.
Did you watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon more as a kid? The Nickelodeon cartoons were far more interesting to me. I think I only got into Disney when I got a little bit older, once I was able to appreciate the more mature content in shows like The Suite Life, Thatā€™s So Raven, etc. But for the most part our TV was always tuned into Nick Jr., Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron and the other Nick shows.
Name 5 films that were made the year you were born: American History X (great watch), The Truman Show, Mulan, La Vita e Bella if Iā€™m not mistaken (one of my faves, no matter how gut-wrenching it is), and Shakespeare in Love.
Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Yes, eventually I did.
Do you rely more on the newspaper, Internet or TV as your news source? Social media these days since I find that online writers are far more discerning in their reporting than TV anchors, who stay neutral at best.
True or false: Bigger is better. Very vaguely put, but not always, I guess.
Do you think religion is the primary cause of war? No? Thereā€™ve been plenty other reasons for war.
What's your favorite pizza topping? ...Cheese.
Think of your wardrobe. What color do you wear the most? Itā€™s still black, I think.
Have you ever been to a planetarium? Just once, on a middle school field trip. Iā€™d love to come back, though.
Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? I donā€™t get to be with animals a lot other than my dogs, so Iā€™ll go with people.
Do you feel like sometimes you have to lie in order to protect yourself? Wow so dramatically put haha but yeah, I suppose it does feel that way sometimes.
How often do you exercise? Literally never. Iā€™ve stopped working out this year since I didnā€™t see the point, and Iā€™ve stopped feeling like I had toĀ ā€˜get backā€™ at my ex just by getting a more toned figure. Iā€™m totally at peace with how my body looks, plus I never want to give up on my favorite foods and snacks lol so thereā€™s that.
Can you swear in a different language? Putangina mong bobo kang gago ka. Thatā€™s three for ya.
Do you think teachers/doctors deserve to get paid more than pro athletes? Everyone deserves to be paid fairly to the point that no comparison should be necessary, period.
From a scale of 1- 5, you would rate this survey: Erm, a 4.5. I had to delete some questions I didnā€™t feel comfortable answering or that I found a little meh, but the rest I fairly enjoyed.
Do you think most of these questions were more original or more ordinary? Itā€™s a bit in between.
Approx. time you completed this survey: Hahahahah 10:38 PM. I took a million breaks.
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suncatchr Ā· 4 years ago
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some updated designs!! lots to say about these!!
Emilia and Mateoā€™s ā€œImaginaryā€ Designs
I have a plot update for them ;w; I thought, since their whole motif is arts and performance, that it would be cute to write in a playground roleplay element to their story! Besically as kids, they make up a fantasy world that they play in together whenever they get a free second! In off-time, Mateo writes stories and makes art of their characters, and Emilia starts learning to play music so that she can compose theme songs for them. Emiliaā€™s character is a fire witch whoā€™s able to comfortably use her powers bc they live in a more magical world. Mateoā€™s character is a healer who follows Emilia on her quests to save the places she defends. I thought it would be a nice place to kick off their obsessions with creativity, and also that it would be kinda fun to do a plot within a plot and kinda try to make up a story that two kids would.
These outfts are the designs they thought up in their game. Mateo later drew up the designs, this being most obvious from the rose on Emiliaā€™s belt. Her gloves keep her magic in when she doesnā€™t need it, and the cloak is fireproof. Mateoā€™s outfit is based on a plague doctorā€™s, but for ease, the mask is just a piece of thick fabric that can be lifted up over his nose when he needs it. The rest of his body is covered to prevent him from contracting infections from fluids.
Holly and Masei
Nothing too new about these designs, their original designs were just way too simplistic bc i didnā€™t have much of an idea. Holly is a warrior, so his outfit is very lacking in layers and fabric. On the other hand, Masei is a prince, so his clothes are dumb layered and the little translucent piece is supposed to drive home just how extravagant he is.
Khauai, Haven, and Hakeem
I wanted their outfits to be more like their animal motifs! Cevon didnā€™t get a redesign because his current outfit is civilian clothes which. suits the fact that he gets his power taken away. Khauai is an owl, so his cloak is meant to reflect his wings and the puffy pants + slim boots mimic the legs of an owl. Haven is a selkie, so I gave him his seal coat to wear over his human form. I left the sweater, though, since it kinda melds both worlds for him as opposed to him only wearing his seal coat and Yearning for the Sea. Hakeemā€™s outfit is supposed to be lionlike, so I gave him the furry collar to be the mane and the furry boots to be his paws. Itā€™s also a little more form-fitting bc he steals Cevonā€™s powers and as such becomes an incubus. I think heā€™d embrace that fully.
The Major Arcana
These characters have 3 things each that are part of their designs: an album, a Tarot card, and their name. I decided that the Tarot card would be more involved witht heir demeanour and how they present themselves, so the outfits are based on their album and their name.
Crow, obviously, is named for a crow. His clothing is layered to represent the feathers of a birdā€™s wing, and his cloak is ruffled to be shaped like the wings themselves. His album is After Hours. His heavy layers also represent him often blocking people out because he feels like heā€™ll just let them all down (a la Save Your Tears). At the same time, his outer cloak is open, because what he really wants is to be better, but itā€™s hard to make that go to the inner layers of himself (a la Faith). His clothes are all black.
Harleyā€™s name means ā€œmeadow of hares.ā€ His spikey hair is meant to represent windswept grass, while his inner vest is meant to be a little white bunny tumby and his boots are white at the toes to represent paws. His album is Beauty Behind the Madness. BBTM is a little sluttier than AH, so I had to kinda work around that, since Major Arcana generally wear old-fashioned clothing and lots of layers. Underneath his jacket, Harleyā€™s arms are bare and his jeans are high-waisted so that when heā€™s free to do so, he can shift into hotboy mode. BBTMā€™s narration is also more smug and more detached, so I felt like that it made sense to give Harley a more modern outfit than everyone else, because he couldnā€™t care less about the customs of Major Arcana dress or how anyone feels about it. His clothes are brown and white.
Nakoaā€™s name means ā€œwarrior.ā€ I gave him the harnesses on his back and leg to look like heā€™d be carrying weapons around, even though he never would. His album is Transmissions. The ablum gives off a very aching, yearning vibe, with the narrator sounding alone throughout the whole thing. His mission seems to be to find and protect someone else, while sticking staunchly to oneā€™s ideals and values throughout the quest. Nakoa dresses like Major Arcana should, with his clothes being the most traditional of anyoneā€™s. The lock necklace represents his loyalty to the Major Arcana (as in, heā€™s locked in) and the heart necklace (while in canon it represents his card: The Lovers), represents the person that the albumā€™s narrator is talking about. I wanted to make him look very ā€œtied upā€ in his clothes, so everything runs across him. This represents the loneliness at the albumā€™s core; Nakoa is tied up in himself and effectively has no one but the cause to be loyal to. His clothes are purple and blue.
Sundayā€™s outfit is supposed to contrast Nakoaā€™s heavily. They donā€™t wear all of the ties and layers he does. Their design is meant to be open and welcoming, because their album is Dreamland. The narrator of Dreamland describes a troubled past in an expressive and upbeat way, and I thought Iā€™d reflect that in the fact that Sunday is the eldest and effectively the most responsible for the whole group, yet they remain open and their layers stripped despite all that. Their name obviously reflects the sun, so the main colours of their outfit along w the sun at their collar represent the sunrise. Their outfit is iridescent (another ref to Dreamlandā€™s aes), with bases of pale pink and yellow.
Arwenā€™s name means ā€œroyal maiden.ā€ Her outfit is based on the most practical layer of mediaeval royal clothing, with her hood able to pull up to look like a victorian maidenā€™s bonnet. Her album is Hozier, but Iā€™m going to be hinest and say most of her outfit was designed before this, so I couldnā€™t find a place to mix in the album..? So the colours of her clothing are the album coverā€™s colours: orange, blue, and brown.
Elio means sun. I have enough characters designed after the sun, so I went entirely album-based with him. His album is DIVISIONS, a rebellious, anticapitalist love letter to no one. The album is about adventure, love, and the future, so I wanted to give Elio a v futuristic and punky outfit. His outfit is my favourite out of all of them, but I donā€™t actually have much to say about it? I think it looks exactly how I envisioned, like Elioā€™s a punk from the future. His clothes are black, white, and silver.
Dawnā€™s name meaning is obvious, and again w the sun. I went all-album with him too. His album is Meteora, an album thatā€™s essentially about hating yourself, your past, and everyone around you. I wanted to go more emo with Dawnā€™s design bc of that, but emo style actually doesnā€™t... appeal to me, plus itā€™s not very Major Arcana. I gave him some gay little boots to be his choice piece of emo clothing, and then emoā€™d up a regular outfit instead. His clothes are layered, again representing him building up walls. He has lots of elements that are tied around him, this time to look like heā€™s sealed himself in, hence them all being horizontal. He burned the edges of his cloak himself and also sliced into his pants so that he looked imperfect and everyone around him would know that heā€™s imperfect. His clothes are, in contrast, pink, yellow, and blue.
Doveyā€™s name obviously means dove. Her cloak, like Crowā€™s is ruffled at the edge to represent bird wings. Doves are much fluffier than crows, though, so in her outfit, feathers are represented by the ruffles in her dress. Now, uh, her album is Wasteland, Baby! and the outfit very much misses the vibe. Dovey is another character whose outfit I had planned before hand, and it wasnā€™t desidned with music in mind. The one song I did think of while designing her was As It Was, which reminds me of Red Riding Hood bc of the way it opens?? I feel like even though I canā€™t pinpoint any one vibe that matches her look, I can see her as the narrator slash star of all the songs in this outfit. So IDK, it vibes w me, fjkdshdsfd. Her outfit is grey and brown, like a mourning dove.
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himbo-buckley Ā· 5 years ago
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What do you think will happen in Buck begins episode? Iā€™m really hoping its flashbacks to his family life, conflict with parents, why he got into firefighting and then present day his/one of his parents come bacj into his life and we have his blood family meeting his fire family
Hi, friend, uiiii, thanks for the question!
I already did a post about thatĀ hereĀ but I am always willing to talk about it more because I am in love with this Episode already (ask me about ā€œBuck Beginsā€ / ā€œEvan Endsā€, please!!! I wanna theorise!)
MY BIGGEST HOPE right now is them bringing thatĀ ā€œEddie Beginsā€ energy for our boy as well, because uff, right? That episode makes me want to cry every time which is a big deal considering I only actually cry at Christmas commercials, motivational speeches in sports movies and about my own stupidity and anger
I know a lot of people want the Buckley parents and while I am not opposed to them showing up in Season 4 or at the end of the episode, during the episode I want them only in flashbacks because I feel like anything else would divert from Buck too much, like, theyā€™d have to talk about Maddie as well (especially since she is pregnant)
would love to see some flashbacks of teenage!Buck and his dislike of Doug and suchĀ 
Iā€™d love the cause to be Maddie telling him their parents are on the way and him then processing all of this with Frank (GIVE ME ALL THE FRANK, okay?) or because he ran into someone from his past
or
if they wanna go live and death, maybe Buck getting once again stuck somewhere / being in a place that is hard for everyone else to reach (like I said, ā€œEddie Beginsā€ energy meaning ā€œEddie Beginsā€-type of hurt and Eddie having to deal with potentially losing Buck - again)
And if that is the case I want Eddie to give us a parallel to Buck inĀ ā€œEddie Beginsā€ - within his temperament of course! Because Eddie wonā€™t fall apart but like, maybe the itā€™s extremely dangerous to go help Buck and everyone is like: ā€œokay, whoā€™s gonna do itā€ and then Eddie volunteers and the firefam is like: ā€œno, what about Christopherā€ and obviously Eddie is like: ā€œI AM thinking about Christopher but this is Buck and so I have to do this, I have to safe himā€ - just, give me a teeny tiny Buddie scene, okay? (technically this would not be a tiny scene but still! COULD YOU IMAGINE?)
Iā€™d love if we find out Buck went to College and we see him graduating and then his parents maybe want him to take a certain job or Idk go to law school (PLEASE CONFIRM SMART BUCK) or something, but Buck doesnā€™t want to (remember how he talked about getting some milage in in 3.11?) and instead he goesĀ ā€œBye, party people! I am off to South America!ā€
Also, Iā€™ve said before that I do not believe with a single cell that Buck only fell into firefighting and my theory is this:
While in South America Buck met a Seal. Maybe they were friends, maybe more (bi!Buck confirmed, anyone?), maybe rivals, maybe it was a Red type of situation - anyways the guy dies while Buckeroo tries to save him and then, to honour that person he joins the Seals (GIVE ME ALL THE SEALS INĀ ā€œBUCK BEGINSā€, yaā€™ll)
now, the Seals and Buck are obviously not a good fit, weā€™ve been told that since episode 2 and there is an instructor who sort of takes a liking to Buck, though maybe he originally doesnā€™t like that cocky kid he is impressed with his dedication but he also sees: that boy is close to a breaking point and heā€™ll destroy himself if he goes on and heā€™s to good a lad to have that happen to him
And then he talks to Buck and tells him, you know, I have this friend in the LAFD, maybe that would be a better fit? And maybe Buck gives in right away or maybe something happens but anyways, we get Buck becoming a firefighter - and hey, then his sentence in 2.06 about falling into it wouldnā€™t even be a lie!
And maybe instead of showing his time at the academy I kind of want this episode to end with one of those cuts where the camera spans around and the time changes? Like we see Buck walk toward the firehouse for the first time from the back all alone (as a parallel to ā€œBobby Begins Againā€)Ā and the camera spins around and we see Buck walk toward us in a different outfit and then it spins again and we are in the present and there is a party for him? Like all of Chimneyā€™s ā€œI cheated deathā€ -Ā parties? Yeah, that!
I know a lot of people want the trigger to be something like a hurt kid or him just generally being in danger and I donā€™t want the former because I donā€™t subscribe to theĀ ā€œBuck was abusedā€-headcanon (his parents to me were either extremely overprotective or neglectful), because it invalidates and red cons all of Maddieā€™s storyline and also feels out of character (to me)
As for being in danger himself, weā€™ve seen him in life and death situations before and weā€™ve seen him when something was triggering for him, so unless itā€™s something very specific we havenā€™t seen yet and is connected to his backstory or something like getting stuck under something again (triggering a flashback because of 2.18) I just donā€™t see it.
But if they go with the parents as being the trigger, in my opinion, they have to start setting it up a few episodes before that by giving us hints about the Buckley parents, so itā€™s believable that Buck would have an extreme reaction to them coming to LA, because in canon he mentions them ONCE in 3 Seasons, but also because Season 2 at times implied that Buck at least had some contact with his parents (he didnā€™t contradict Maddie when she said, not to tell them about her being in LA by saying: ā€œOh, they never call anywaysā€)
Also if they do go with the parents coming to LA-storyline I donā€™t want it inĀ ā€œBuck Beginsā€ only because considering how much has happened to him in the past 3 Seasons it feels a little to big to be a one and done storyline? So maybe they set up his parents coming back and then we deal with them being back the following two episodes?
Okay, so this is getting quite long and seeing as my brain is still in kindergarten mode, I think Iā€™ll end it here for now!
So, bye for now and please honour us again soon! <3
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eyeslikefoxglove Ā· 5 years ago
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Episode 2 - Wei Wuxian has Foot-in-Mouth syndrome & Foxglove absolutely has a crush
Alright letā€™s go! Itā€™s almost midnight so I might have to go to bed and continue tomorrow but... YOLO? I guess?
Fair warning, I will gush about cinematography and scenery like a lot. I have zero professional knowledge about it, but itā€™s pretty.
Wei ā€œlet me be really damn sexy when drinkingā€ Wuxian.
Heā€™s so done with everything omg itā€™s hilarious.
Ok but the actress who plays A-Yan is GORGEOUS.
Why does this show do ā€œcreepy yet beautifulā€ so damn good?
This might be my inner Rumplestiltskin talking but the second I heard ā€œwish-granting fairyā€ I had to scream bullshit; all magic comes with a price.
My god Jin Ling wouldā€™ve gotten la zapatilla for talking to the people in the net like that if my granny had been there.
And Iā€™ll never stop wondering who the fuck is in charge of logistics here. Because there you have A CIVILIAN wandering into a forest covered in magic nets.
That fucking donkey.
Watching this for the first time, with not prior knowledge must be fucking disconcerting. Because you have this literal walking disaster, who everyone (besides the gorgeous man in white) wants dead. But heā€™s a fucking mess and mostly harmless. So why? And itā€™s hilarious.
So maybe not that harmless. (Ok but badass WWX is kinda hot)
AND WWX DONE GOOFED. Feet in mouth syndrome at its finest.
Him sassing JL is hilarious.
OH HEY THATā€™S MY HUSBAND RIGHT THERE!
But FR, the first time I saw JC in this scene I screamed: oh not heā€™s hoooooooot.
Itā€™s the cheekbones. And the long hair. And the hands. And the fact that my self preservation instinct was left in-utero because I think getting that man riled up and angry over stupid shit would be hilarious.
... in my defence my familyā€™s love language is being assholes to each other; but with affection you know?
JC: I am badass and have a temper donā€™t fuck with me.
Me: ok thatā€™s valid but youā€™re also kind of an angry grape and spent ten minutes trying to find a polite way to say ā€œfuck off and dieā€ via letter.
WWX: why am I so unlike today.
WHEN ARE YOU LUCKY MATE? WHEN?
ooooooohhhhhh petty petty smackdown round one!
I love that JC is throwing digs at LWJ and LWJ is not even looking at him. I mean, the ducklings are carrying the conversation so this must not even be new to them.
Jin Ling is the Peacock, Sizhui is Shijie and Jingyi is a WWX/JC hybrid.
JC: whatā€™s the bad news now?
Honestly? Same.
Why does Netflix not translate HJG as HGJ?
JC telling JL that heā€™ll break his legs if he fucks up has the same energy as my mum threatening me with making me go out on a Friday night if I donā€™t pass a test.
And yes, I make jokes about threatening physical violence here because it is my hc that, after the kind of parents the Yunmeng siblings had, JC took a look at JL and decided right then and there to stay away from his own parentsā€™ methods.
I mean, one of my dadā€™s fave swears is: lord give me patience, because if you give me strength theyā€™re all dead.
Which I find hilarious, so I canā€™t help but see the same thing in those two.
WWX finding out heā€™d disparaged his orphan nephewā€™s parents: It was at this moment that he knew heā€™d fucked up.
... well, that was creepy.
(Can I make the ā€œcompass that doesnā€™t point north and wooden swordā€ joke? Please?)
JIN LING SHUT UP.
Nopenopenopenoooooope.
So quick question, despite WWX coming back with his own body in this adaptation he does have a golden core right? Because he does some talisman and array things and he does mention when everyone is shit out of luck in the Burial Mounds that he, LWJ and the Ducklings are the only ones with spiritual energy. But he also gives his sword to WN to fight more often than not and he mentions that his body is ā€œfragileā€. So...
WWX just went into scolding/disappointed parent mode lol.
He just deduced everything correctly from a bunch of glittery grass. Heā€™s fucking Sherlock and I can understand why NHS wanted him to help with his brotherā€™s murder.
(Brief interlude so I can thirst over JCā€™s hands for a second again)
Jingyi is, as always, A Mood.
THE CINNAMON ROLL IS HERE.
ā€œThe Yiling Patriarch is not here!ā€
Heā€™s right behind you mate.
So everyone is wearing Kevlar under their robes right? Iā€™m going to assume so, because otherwise WN wouldā€™ve caved LSZā€™s chest in with that chain throw. I mean, he punched right through stone so...
ITā€™S HERE.
ITā€™S HAPPENING.
NOBODY PANIC.
THE WRIST GRAB.
IS THAT A TIIIIIINY SMILE ON LWJā€™S FACE?
THE DOUBLE WRIST GRAB.
LWJā€™S SURPRISED FACE.
*screaming into a pillow*
Oh hey, hubby is back!
OMG Iā€™m laughing at him scolding JL. Canā€™t help it.
Full disclosure, I love Zidianā€™s design.
Petty smackdown number two!
Lemme go on a Zidian tangent tho: ITā€™S A LIGHTNING WHIP. That shit should be devastating. Do you know how much voltage is in lightning? Too fucking much. Every time someone got hit with it you would have at least second to third degree burns, not to mention broken bones, muscle spasms and if youā€™re very very unlucky cardiac arrest. But you donā€™t. It doesnā€™t make sense? Help?
... why am I being logical over A FUCKING MAGIC WHIP.
Idk, itā€™s almost 1am donā€™t ask me that.
He really wanted his brother back didnā€™t he. I mean, he was so sure WWX was possessing that body and when nothing happened his face got all surprised and sad. Thatā€™s not the look of someone who wants to torture and murder the dude. Thatā€™s for sure.
LJY: didnā€™t you kill him yourself?
JC: conceal donā€™t feel donā€™t let them know.
Again, brilliant tiny flashback. We still donā€™t see what exactly happened at the cliff. You see LWJ holding onto WWX, you see a close up of JC stabbing down from above, but then it cuts to a wider frame and WWX is already falling. We are meant to assume JC did something like stab him on the face or hurt LWJā€™s hand.
I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OVER JC OK? Heā€™s an angry grape but heā€™s my angry grape and he misses both his siblings.
Amazing transition again to a mega long flashback.
SHIJIE IS HERE. JC IS SMILING. WWXā€™S BIGGEST PROBLEMS ARE STEERING CLEAR OF DOGS AND HIS HORRIBLE ADOPTIVE MOTHER. *goes crying to read time-travel fix it fics*
(Iā€™m gonna stop being all thirsty over JC at least until the SunShot Campaign bc 1. I think his mega crush on WQ is adorable and how I wish itā€™d worked out. & 2. Heā€™s what? 17 at the beginning of this flashback? That feels creepy.)
Itā€™s a little disturbing what WWX says about alcohol easing the mind tho. I mean heā€™s 17?
JC: A-Jie WWX is being mean to me!
So thatā€™s episode 2 done. Itā€™s 1am and my cat is begging me for food so I bet the neighbours love me right now. Iā€™m not going to take any responsibility for typos or weird turns of phrases because Iā€™m tired.
Tomorrow I have to actually start packing my flat so I might not get another episode out but who knows.
Thanks for reading!
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ethandigby Ā· 5 years ago
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怎Ā LANDON LIBOIRONĀ ā™Ā GENDERQUEER 怏Ā āŸæĀ looks likeĀ ETHAN DIGBYĀ is here forĀ THEIRĀ SECOND year as aĀ VISUAL ART GRADĀ student.Ā HEĀ isĀ 27Ā years old & known to be DEDICATED, HONEST, STUBBORNĀ &Ā PESSIMISTIC. Theyā€™re living inĀ NOLAND, so if youā€™re there, watch out for them.Ā ā¬³ drew. twenty-two. est. he/him. ethanā€™s pinterest
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trivia:
he really likes white cholate & hot chocolate, often eating handfuls of white chocolate baking discs regardless of the time of day.Ā 
visual art major --- tends to stray towards sculptures and installation pieces, though he does have a love for bob ross style landscape pieces. draws a lot of inspiration from older art, and many of his pieces are designed to look worn-out and as though they are missing pieces.Ā 
perpetually exhausted --- for all his love of schedules, he has never managed to consistently get enough sleep and though he loves tea, that never seems to have enough of an impact to truly wake him up ---- a.k.a he is a yawn prone little fuck
doesnā€™t quite believe the local legends, though he doesnā€™t dismiss them outright either. the statue by wishing tree has, however, made it into several of his works ---- statues seem to have her facial features without him ever meaning to and he will swear to anyone that asks that in sophomore year of his bachelorā€™s degree he woke up one morning to her face staring at him from amongst the trees on a painting he had been working on. he will hesitantly add that itā€™s possible that he had just been thinking of her while half asleep, though ethan doesnā€™t really believe that
currently working as a TA for some of the freshman art classes, as well as overseeing the use of the different art studios from time to time.Ā 
doesnā€™t believe in labels --- and thatā€™s corny as hell, but he just wants to be able to be whoever he is in the moment and has had some harsher reactions when he uses umbrella terms, so he just refuses to label himself. relationship-wise itā€™s a whole different issue, he floats from one major relationship to another and often times will cycle back to one thatā€™s already gone sour.Ā 
has recently started going to a therapist to talk about some of the issues he has processing emotions and his fear of change ---- itā€™s been helping but heā€™s still very much on the verge of flight mode and will run away from situations that demand any real sort of emotional input from him on occasion.Ā 
personality:
he is cynical, despite a desire to believe the best in people and the world - he has seen too much of the darker side of the world to ever truly believe it ---- this is reflected not only in his interactions with people ( he is open about expressing doubt and disbelief, he wonā€™t believe a word you say, and he overanalyzes promises / invitations / declarations of love ) but also in his art and aesthetic which veers towards the dark and damned, a lot of his work is themed around broken things
stubborn as a mule ---- once he gets an idea in his mind, it can be hard to change his mind with logical arguments though an emotional appeal will have a better chance ---- heā€™s very set in his ways and struggles with questioning why things are the way they are, insisting that somethings should just be. loathes change and isnā€™t afraid to express this dislike --- tends to eat the same foods, wear the same clothes, go to the same places ---- despite a childhood dislike of routine, he finds it comforting nowadays, it feels safe.
loyal as all hell, you can hurt him a million times and he will still struggle to walk away and a genuine apology will win him back in an instant. he struggles to cut ties, even with those that he knows arenā€™t the best for him and has only successfully done so when it is possible for him to do so in a swift and permanent way. in most cases, he will eventually find his way back to those that he knows.Ā 
friendly but not overly so --- he has no issue approaching people if he needs something, but heā€™s not generally one to approach you just toĀ ā€œchatā€ b/c heā€™s not big on small talk in general and honestly? heā€™d never say it but if he doesnā€™t know you, he doesnā€™t really give a damn how your day went or how you feel about the weather or current events. if he drinks, he becomes a little more sociable in that matter, but that often drifts intoĀ ā€œethan is going to info-dump about whatever has his interest in the moment and the only way to stop him is to like physically place something in / on his mouthā€ territory which is a whole different level of awkward.Ā 
backstory:
growing up in a household where routine took priority, ethan spent a long time feel stifled by his parentā€™s demands that everything turned out perfectlyĀ ---- the neverending need to do things at just the right time, in just the right way. it was like fitting into a sweater that was just a tad too small, wrong in a way that is hard to explain
itā€™s in high school that he meets a true kindred spirit in the form of his art teacher ---- he helps ethan to realize his need for freedom and self-expression, and embraces his abilities in a way that he had always been afraid to. itā€™s a change that his parents are disapproving of, trying to reroute their sonā€™s future to one of the paths that they would have approved of. but for once, he allows himself to rebel.
and after graduation, he leaves. running to new york, where he throws himself into the art scene head first without any real plans. for two years, he works multiple jobs as he cycles through sketchy roommates in his shitty apartment and equally shitty life partners, trying to discover things about himself that he hadnā€™t known before.
heā€™s still figuring some of that out, unsure of how to label his gender or his sexuality --- wishing more than anything that he could just be, a desire that he has long held onto since childhood thatā€™s coming back to haunt them at last.Ā 
thatā€™s not the only thing thatā€™s caught up with them as of late, the digbyā€™s finally managing to track him down in new york and showing up at his apartment two years after he initially ran off. they came with open minds and a burning desire to see their son do something other than work minimum wage jobs and live in run-down apartments. they were quiet and subdued in a way that they never had been.
it took six months for them to convince him to enroll in college, and he eventually chose to attend radcliffe with an undeclared major. it was far enough from his hometown that his parents couldnā€™t reasonably drive up too often, but close enough that he could go home if he had wanted. a three-hour drive in the best traffic.
the distance proved to be the right amount --- though his parents certainly seemed to pop up over the first three months with containers of food and worries that their child would have run off, they eventually learned to trust him. and slowly, the wounds healed ---- ethan wouldnā€™t say that theyā€™re close but theyā€™ve learned to respect each otherā€™s boundaries.
and heā€™s never seen them more proud than at graduation, except maybe when he told them that he was going to apply to grad school. it wasnā€™t the path that they had planned for ethan, but they had learned to be enthusiastic about his success, about his dreams and about his art.
doing his masterā€™s degree - itā€™s been weird. being here is weird for him in general, he still misses new york even though it was a whole different kind of existence ---- he misses the stability of going to work everyday and being completely independent. here, he has to rely on his professors and classmates, he has people that expect him to check in with them and thereā€™s more socialization --- mostly because heā€™s been trying to do better with that.Ā 
connections:
good / bad influence: okay so traditionally, i think these would be separate connections but i think in this case, itā€™s more convoluted than that. for all of ethan running away from the environment his parents made, heā€™s very much stuck to those rules and expectations --- i would love for someone to start to break him out of that --- encourage him to party and drink and live life, and it doesnā€™t all have to be bad, it can be good too. you know, them bringing him to parties and him learning actually valuable lessons from it --- idk open to talking about their potential influence on each other, i think it could be fun
frenemies ( onesided or not ): i think a lot of ethanā€™s trust issues are a projection mechanism because he knows that in some ways that he canā€™t be trusted --- so i wld love for someone who they act like best friends when theyā€™re together and then ethan just ... talks smack about them and doesnā€™t keep their secrets ( and maybe they do the same?? )Ā 
exes ( of all types / genders / whatever ): this one, my dear ethan, has gotten around a bit --- maybe they hooked up and now itā€™s awkward ---- maybe they dated for a while and keep circling back to each other despite knowing that theyā€™re bad for each other ( a la unmiss you by clara mae ) ---- maybe they dated for a while and now they never talk so when they do see each other itā€™s just ... awkward as hell ---- open to literally anything with this one guys
art buddies: just two pals, palling around --- only prerequisite is that your character has some sort of interest in an art ( writing, theatre, music, film, etc etc ) --- and hey maybe they donā€™t get along but they put up a united front against the STEM majors who mock their choices in major?Ā 
other: open to discussing dormates, coworkers, current love interests and literally anything else that you can think of --- does your character need someone over 21 to buy them alcohol? call ethan. for real tho, hit me up and letā€™s come up with some stuff!
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unproduciblesmackdown Ā· 5 years ago
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you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43
#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option
5)favorite fics?
soph nothingunrealisticā€™s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag
17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?
well i donā€™t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriartyā€™s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but thereā€™s not exactly what youā€™d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but thatā€™s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beckā€™s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and itā€™s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and itā€™s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someoneā€™s not being Focused On as much from different peopleā€™s perspectives doesnā€™t mean they arenā€™t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when thatā€™s not being mentioned by whoeverā€™s writing down the events that weā€™re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.
24)who are you at the end of this decade?
hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when youā€™re in ur mid-teens thatā€™s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself allĀ ā€œwhy are you like [this], why canā€™t you do [that] right,ā€ etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now itā€™s like, yknow iā€™m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and iā€™ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff iā€™ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently itā€™s like......okay hang on but like, itā€™s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe arenā€™t gonna be seen asĀ ā€œperfectā€ or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isnā€™t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, iā€™m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, thereā€™s a balance here betweenĀ ā€œgood to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lolā€ andĀ ā€œbut also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesnā€™t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphereā€ and like, sure itā€™s likeĀ ā€œhaha iā€™m a bit more temperamental than iā€™d like stillā€ but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like,Ā ā€œhaha wish i was better at conversation lmaoā€ but yknow also understanding that like.....iā€™m just kinda Not great at it and thatā€™s whatā€™s Natural for me and like, again, a balance betweenĀ ā€œtrying to be easier to talk to, lolā€ andĀ ā€œbeing okay with the fact that iā€™m not super easy to talk to and most ppl arenā€™t very easy for me to talk to either, lolā€
im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. itā€™s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people itā€™s likeĀ ā€œwell this is just you needing to Be Nicerā€ or whatever, or like, well youā€™re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just donā€™t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time iā€™m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think iā€™m alright lol. lord! so iā€™m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again thereā€™s sort of always these repeated scenarios where itā€™s like [Glum Trombone Noise] iā€™m also the recipient of various pplā€™s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure donā€™t Absorb that as likeĀ ā€œway 2 go, you deserve thatā€ but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i donā€™t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and thatā€™s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol
also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, thereā€™s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, iā€™m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if theyā€™re friendly with me) and wonā€™t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if itā€™s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and iā€™ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if iā€™m there *with* that group lmao, like, i donā€™t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if iā€™m by myself itā€™s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i donā€™t like to make noise lol. unless again, itā€™s deliberate, and itā€™s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemnĀ ā€œlistening to a recordā€ occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. iā€™m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always likeĀ ā€œoh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]ā€........i canā€™t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and thatā€™s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, cā€™est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, itā€™s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties.Ā 
iā€™m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that iā€™ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all likeĀ ā€œwow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]ā€ aaand it hasnā€™t been a full year yet since i was last thinking likeĀ ā€œlmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!ā€ but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i donā€™t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasnā€™t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, iā€™m aware that things are always a little tenuous and thereā€™s other factors iā€™m always nervous about, but Thatā€™s nothing new, and iā€™m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, thereā€™s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i donā€™t die this year, i guess,) feelings, itā€™s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think iā€™m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than iā€™ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i havenā€™t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like iā€™m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Wonā€™t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact iā€™ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, itā€™s really nice that My Presence in other pplā€™s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.
hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think iā€™m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, itā€™s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping iā€™d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i donā€™t even draw for its own sake lol like, iā€™ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been aĀ ā€œwow i want to make my own __ somedayā€ or whatever, and if iā€™m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just donā€™t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. donā€™t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah itā€™s definitely lucky that iā€™ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz iā€™m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!
anyways yeah iā€™m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess iā€™ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao
what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah iā€™m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Donā€™t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, ā€œIntelligentā€ Sarcasm and that beingĀ ā€œfunnyā€ is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? itā€™s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol.Ā 
well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are
26)favorite look you had?
my look hasnā€™t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the wholeĀ ā€œaha, yeah okay iā€™m transā€ process, but before that i wasnā€™t ever really trying to be moreĀ ā€œā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€fashionableā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ā€androgynousā€ or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year wentĀ ā€œugh god i need it to be shorterā€ and even now iā€™m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also iā€™m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! iā€™ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap thatā€™s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how iā€™d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also donā€™t have a great direct answer lol
38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?
lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me
43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?
well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasnā€™t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and iā€™d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c itā€™s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful
also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i canā€™t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if weā€™d run into each other sheā€™d kind of update me on her life. and she would be likeĀ ā€œsorry iā€™m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i donā€™t really have anyone to talk toā€ and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i canā€™t be concise abt anything ever, iā€™m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i donā€™t mind you venting, and also yknow, iā€™m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if iā€™m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet iā€™m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow iā€™d catch her two weeks later and sheā€™d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who sheā€™d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of likeĀ ā€œhmm this doesnā€™t sound greatā€ but like, a month or two later sheā€™s straightup Married to this dude, and iā€™m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That sheā€™s talking about how like, sheā€™s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, iā€™m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but iā€™m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone whoā€™s being treated real bad likeĀ ā€œyou are being treated terribly, this person is acting terriblyā€ then they might just want to defend them like oh itā€™s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partnerĀ ā€œlook badā€.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dudeā€™s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someoneā€™s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, itā€™s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i couldĀ ā€œget away with itā€ but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you donā€™t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person thatĀ ā€œhey your partner is being shittyā€ then itā€™s all, them telling their partnerĀ ā€œdonā€™t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(ā€ and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasnā€™t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didnā€™t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and iā€™m like, internally screaming but again yknow, iā€™m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about herĀ ā€œuh oh my husband sucksā€ was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like,Ā ā€œsorry iā€™m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lolā€ and iā€™m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i wouldā€™ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow itā€™s a couple weeks later and wouldnā€™t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Donā€™t Have Much Money, where youā€™re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when theyā€™re likeĀ ā€œget out b/c your rent is overdueā€ but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously thatā€™s not five days and itā€™s really only One Day and that Last Day that youā€™d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when youā€™d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW itā€™s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldnā€™t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c itā€™s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever sheā€™d show up iā€™d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all likeĀ ā€œwhat are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ughā€ and iā€™m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didnā€™t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldnā€™t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that iā€™d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope sheā€™s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but iā€™m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.
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sailor-freak Ā· 5 years ago
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Nogizaka46: 25th Single Shiawase no Hogoshoku - Album Review
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Well itā€™s not really an album is it IDK WHAT ELSE TO CALL THIS ANYWAY finally getting round to reviewing this so here we go!
Shiawase no Hogoshoku - (for ones that had videos Iā€™ll just link to my original post then say something brief lol) Title song! It uses a lot of interesting instruments lmao, itā€™s very reminiscent of old Nogi songs like a slower Guruguru Curtain or something, it has a nostalgic feel to it which is fitting for Maiyanā€™s graduation šŸ˜‚.
Sayonara Stay With Me - Oh I love a small group/unit song yippeeĀ šŸ˜‚. Right at the start itā€™s got a really cool, almost summery jam vibe to it! It uses that old 50s/60s retro guitar sound which I LOVE, and the vocals added to the intro and outro really add to it, itā€™s got a real beach feel to it (not in the same way as Taiyou ni Kudokarete which was more obvious lol), and itā€™s upbeat but it has range, sometimes it drops but itā€™s still a good bopĀ šŸ˜‚.
Jaane - (already posted on it yeet) Again I hate to be mean about Maiyanā€™s graduation solo, but itā€™s nothing new musically. Itā€™s pretty much the same as Naimononedari or Moshi Kimi ga Inakereba, thatā€™s not a bad thing, Nogiā€™s just unexperimental with their ballads. As a song it doesnā€™t stand out, no matter how amazing Maiyanā€™s vocals are or what individuality she brings in the lyrics, it just doesnā€™t stand out. SorryĀ šŸ˜‚.
Anastasia - (posted again woohoo) Second gens stealing the single which was a big first genā€™s graduation single this slaps so much oops šŸ˜‚. Anyway as I mentioned in my post it has a very upbeat techno feel to it, not in a funky unintelligible way, it uses electronic sounds in the music and the vocals are autotuned in a way to make them essentially blend directly with the music so they become part of it, rather then the music being backing to vocals? Does that make sense? Itā€™s done really wellĀ šŸ˜‚. I think itā€™s my favourite off this single so far but weā€™ve not reached the end yetĀ šŸ˜‚.
Mainichi ga Brand New Day - (do I need to explain?) Third gens bringing something simple lmaoĀ šŸ˜‚. Itā€™s an easy listen, I think I like it more now than I did on first listen, I have a need for absolute hard hitting bangers (like Anastasia lol) but this is just nice, easy, upbeat and positiveĀ šŸ˜‚. Lol watch as the lyrics are really depressing oops. As I said, nothing stands out, but overall it is a really nice song. It seems like something Iā€™d play chilling in the early summer morning... idk why I think of that but yesĀ šŸ˜‚.
I See... - (hey how you doing) Oh I forgot about the disco bop that was this songĀ šŸ˜‚. IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE AN S CLUB 7 SONG LOL I wanna get me glowsticks and me Kwenchy Kup (you know the ones with the tiny straws?) while all the lads rock up in their flame shirts omgĀ šŸ˜‚. Itā€™s such a fitting song for 4th gen tho!! Fresh, funky, youthfulĀ šŸ˜‚.
Fantastic Sanshokupan - COULDNā€™T KEEP ASUKA AWAY COULD THEY but hey Zukkii and Minamim Iā€™m always here forĀ šŸ˜‚. Oh wow this is a rave from the get go isnā€™t it fuck Iā€™m getting tired just fucking listening to thisĀ šŸ˜‚. Omg Zukkiiā€™s voice fits this song so well though! She has that kind of crazy anime voice (I love her Sailor Moon FIGHT ME) that really fits this songĀ šŸ˜‚. Itā€™s another kind of disco song but it has a really different vibe to I See... itā€™s really weirdĀ šŸ˜‚. But a bloody bop!! Very sugary, kind of like Koi wa A La Mode from Tokyo Mew Mew šŸ˜‚. Honestly... this might be up there with AnastasiaĀ šŸ˜‚. It just fucking slapsĀ šŸ˜‚.
Okay overall... pretty decent! Some songs definitely stand out more than others, but there is a range of different styles and vibes on here so whatever you like in Nogi is probably in hereĀ šŸ˜‚. Iā€™m usually not a fan of gen-song heavy singles, but Anastasia is just slaying meĀ šŸ˜‚. Ngl, Iā€™m a little annoyed thereā€™s no Maiyan centred 1st gen song, but that just means that the latest 1st gen song is Against and THATā€™S THE BEST ONE soĀ šŸ˜‚.
Iā€™m so fucking glad I finally did this I can relax nowĀ šŸ˜‚.
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soulwillower Ā· 4 years ago
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when richie met y/n ā€¢ richie tozier
(richie tozier x reader)
prologue
requested: idk if your taking requests rn BUTTTT could you do a richie fic thatā€™s like when harry met sally? if youā€™ve seen it that is šŸŒŸšŸŒŸšŸŒŸ~šŸ¤
warnings: mentions of sexist stuff, bc richie is a dick, mentions of sex, slander of the name sheldon (sorry), talking about the plot of casablanca but you dont rly have to have seen it lol
ok so i know i havent finished tozier but i just recently rewatched this movie and figured iā€™d write the prologue for this planed series n post it <3
[losers + reader have just graduated college in this. ]
2.3k words
ā™”
itā€™s after graduationĀ '92 when y/n y/l/n first meets richard tozier.Ā 
the trees are turning red and crusting off the tips of branches, the bitter cold of the university whipping around your car even though it's supposed to be nearing the end of spring. you're sitting awkwardly now, with your window cranked down, eyes glued to the couple at the edge of the sidewalk. they're entagled with each other enough that all you can make out is wild dark and curly hair, a sharp jawline, and the girlā€™s blonde hair gathered in a fist of the mysterious boy. but you'd notice your friend amanda anywhere, even if her back is turned and face occupied with anotherā€™s.Ā 
you clear your throat, but they ignore you, the boy whose hands are wrapped around her waist tilting her jaw to kiss her even deeper. "i love you." she whispers. you feel awkward, and roll your eyes. it's still seconds later and so you clear your throat, muttering, "amanda."Ā 
she jumps apart from the boy. "oh, hi y/n. um, y/n, this is richie tozier. richie, this is y/n y/l/n."
you lock eyes with the boy, who's got a smirk on his lips as he wipes his mouth. you watch as amanda's lip gloss rubs off his bright red lips, "nice to meet you, y/n."Ā 
you nod back at him, antsy to start driving and nervous for some reason. "hi. you want to drive the first shift?"
he laughs slightly, shaking his head as his wild dark curls bounce around. heā€™s devastatingly handsome, and youā€™re not surprised amanda loves him so much. he pulls his crewneck's sleeves over his hands and shrugs, "no, you're there already, you can start if that works." you nod, slightly put off, but shrugging it off.Ā 
"okay. the back's open." you watch awkwardly as the boy lifts his belongings into the space in your trunk, amanda coming up and hugging his tall, skinny frame. "please call me." she whispers. he nods and you watch from the rearview mirror, "call you as soon as we get there, baby." he says. your friend amanda whines, "oh,Ā please call me from the road. "Ā Ā the boy, richie, cracks a charming grin, "i'll call you before that."
almost gagging, you turn your attention to the radio and fiddle it, waiting for richie and amanda to finish making out against the back of your car.Ā 
it's awkward once you start driving, richie tapping his long fingers against his knee as you stare at the road ahead of you. you clear your throat, "iĀ have it all figured out. it's an eighteen hour trip, which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each. or, alternatively, we couldĀ break it down by mileage-" but while you're speaking, richie's leaning to fiddle around with a bag in the back. you blink, "er, there's a...there's a map on the... visor that i've marked to show the locations so we can change shifts."Ā 
richie barely hums and crunches on something, making you turn to look at him. he lifts his brows, "grapes?"
you lift a brow, "n-no. iĀ don't like to eat between meals." you say, eyes going between him and the road, where he spits out the grape seeds. "alright, y/n. why don't you tell me the story of your life." his sentence makes you do a double-takeĀ and you almost laugh.Ā 
Ā when he sees yourĀ bewildered expression, he shrugs, "we've got eighteen hours to kill before we hit new york."Ā 
shaking your head, "the story of my life won't even get us out of chicago." that makes him laugh, a sound that was shockingly unexpected as it cuts through the stale air of your car. a light, excited and shocked laugh that makes you smile as you watch the road, your eyes stealing a glance at the abrupt and disheveled boy lounging in the passenger seat.Ā 
it's four hours later, and richie's convinced you to pull into a small diner on the side of the road. "-you're wrong." you shake your head as you enter the lot. "i'm not wrong, he wants her to leave! that's why he puts her on the plane." richie insists. you shake your head, "no, iĀ don't think she wants to stay."you insist.Ā  richie rolls his eyes at you, "of course she wants to stay. wouldn't you rather be with humphrey bogart than the other guy?"
you shrug, "iĀ don't want to spend the rest of my life in casablanca married to a man who runs a bar. iĀ probably sound very snobbish to you, but i don't.ā€Ā 
richie looks shocked and annoyed, slamming the car door shut to catch up to you as you walk towards the front doors. "you'd rather be in a passionless marriage." you nod, "well, yeah, and be the first lady of czechoslovakia."
"really? that rather than live with the man you've had the greatest sex of your life with, and just because he owns a bar and that is all he does."
Ā you glare at him, "ingrid bergman is sensible, okay? that's why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie. she knows better, just like i do."Ā 
as a waitress takes you to a booth, richie hums behind you with amusement laced into his voice. "ohh, okay. okay. i understand now."Ā you look at him, "what?" but he shakes his head. "nothing." "tell me."Ā  "no. forget about it." "forget about what? tell me." you insist.Ā  richie's pushing up his glasses and staring at the menu, grinning. "it's not important." "-just tell me!" you hiss.Ā  richie pushes his menu down and looks at you cockily. "obviously you haven't had great sex yet."
you blink, staring at him in shock. this stranger, who you met hours ago, is telling you that you haven't had good sex yet? you scowl, "yes iĀ have." you snap.Ā 
he laughs, looking at the menu still. "no you haven't."
you accidentally project your next words loudly,Ā "it just so happens that iĀ have had plenty of good sex."
Ā it goes silent at the diner, all the eyes on you. the waiters and workers stare, the other patrons watching with wide eyes as richie just grins at you. you feel yourself go red with embarrassment. what is it about this kid that gets you so mad?Ā Ā 
richie seems unphased. "well, with who?" he asks. you mutter, "whom." to correct him, and so he folds his hands and tries again, "with whom are you having this fantastic sex?"Ā  "i'm not telling you that."Ā  "fine, don't tell me." richie says with a shrug, reading over the menu once again. you study his face, the light smirk that seems to be plastered onto his lips permanently; the freckles over his cheeks, forehead and nose. something about him makes you feel like you have to prove yourself.Ā  "shel gordon." you say after a moment.Ā 
"shel? sheldon?" he asks, eyes dark blue as they lock with yours. he laughs, "no, no, you didn't have great sex with sheldon."
"fuck you." you spit. he's still chuckling as he says,Ā "no, no. sheldon can do your income taxes. if you need a root canal, sheldon's your man. but humping and pumping is not sheldon's strong suit." you wrinkle your nose at his vulgar language. "it's the name. 'do it to me sheldon, oh, you're an animal 'sheldon.' it doesn't work." he says, moaning loudly and making you red. you swat him and he laughs.Ā 
Ā you're furious, but the waitress shows up and asks for your orders. "hiya doll, i'll have the number three, please." richie orders. the waitress looks at you. you smile, "i'd like the chef salad please with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode. but if possible, i'd like the pie heated and iĀ don't want the ice cream on top iĀ want it on the side. and i'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it? if not then no ice cream, just whipped cream - but only if it's real. if it's out of a can then nothing."
the waitress looks at you and you can feel richie's eyes on you in the silence following your order. "not even the pie?" she asks, while writing. you shake your head, "no, just the pie, but then not heated.ā€ she looks at you slightly but nods,Ā  "noted, coming right up."
you look at richie, "what?" you ask as he stares at you. he shakes his head, "nothing, nothing. so how come you broke up with this sheldon?" he asks.Ā 
you stare at him, irritated and regretting agreeing to this road trip. "how you know we broke up?" you say. richie grins,Ā "because if you didn't break up, you wouldn't be here with me, you'd be off boning with sheldon the wonder-schlong."Ā  "richie."
the next moment you know you shouldn't have agreed to this is an hour later, back on the road. you can feel richie's eyes burning into your head, so you stop singing.
Ā "you should probably keep your eyes on the road." you suggest lightly, making the boy crack a smirk. "you're a very attractive person." he says earnestly. you look back down to the map in your hands, "thank you."
"amanda never said how attractive you were." richie says, as if he's just saying whatever he's thinking.Ā "well maybe she doesn't think i'm attractive." you say with a shrug.
Ā richie hums,"iĀ don't think it's a matter of opinion,"Ā you can't help the butterflies in your chest at the compliment. "y'know, like...empirically you're attractive."
you frown, distrustful that richie's being so flirty with his girlfriend's friend. "amanda is my friend." you say.Ā 
richie looks at you with a tilt of the head, "yeah, so?" "-so,Ā you're going with her." "so?"Ā  you scowl, "soĀ you're coming on to me!"
richie's eyebrows shoot up and he looks defensive, "no iĀ wasn't- what?" you're unimpressed, eyes widening and jaw dropping. this boy is full of shit, and the smirk on his face proves it. you don't think you're much of a big fan of this richie kid.Ā 
"can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on?" he asks with a blindingly charming smile that makes you glare. "-alright, alright, let's just say just for the sake of argument that it was a come-on. what do you want me to do about it? iĀ take it back, okay? iĀ take it back."
you cross your arms, staring out the window. "you can't take it back." richie groans, "why not?" "because it's already out there." "oh god, what are we suppose to do, call the cops? it's already out there!" he yelps, swerving on the road and making you grip your seat. "just let it lie, okay?" you say, annoyed. "great! let it lie. that's my policy. that's what iĀ always say, let it lie." richie mutters, and you shoot him a glance before looking back at the rolling greenery outside the window.Ā  it's quiet for a moment, then, "wanna spend the night at a motel?"
your jaw drops, richie beating you to speaking as he laughs at your reaction. he finds it so funny, but all you do is glare. asshole.Ā  "see what iĀ did? iĀ didn't let it lie." "richie." you say. "i said iĀ wouldn't and iĀ didn't." he adds.Ā  "richie."Ā 
"in fact, i went the other way, i-" you cut richie off, "richie!"Ā  he looks at you,Ā "what?" you shake your head, huffing.Ā "we're just going to be friends, okay?"Ā 
"fine by me. friends,Ā it's the best thing. " he says.
it's silent for ten more minutes, and you almost get to sleep until you're jolted awake by a voice you've been forced to listen two for six hours straight. "-you realize, of course, that we can never be friends."
his words, while irritating beyond belief, do capture your attention.Ā "and why not?" you say.Ā 
he swallows. "what I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form -Ā is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.ā€
its silent for a second as you take in the stupidity of his words. "jesus, richie. that's not true, iĀ have a number of men friends and there's no sex involved.ā€
ā€œno you don't.ā€ he says matter-of-factly. you scowl, "yes i do.ā€Ā Ā 
ā€œno you don't.ā€Ā  ā€œyes i do.ā€Ā  "you only think you do.ā€
"you're saying i'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?" you sass, rolling your eyes so hard it hurts. richie huffs a short laugh,Ā "no, what i'm saying is they all want to have sex with you."Ā 
you wrinkle your nose.Ā "they do not. that's really disgusting."Ā  "maybe it is, but itā€™s true." "they do not!" you insist, turning in your seat to stare at him. "do too." your jaw goes slack and you narrow your eyes, "how do you know?"
"because. no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive -Ā he always wants to have sex with her."
you feel like punching him in the face. "so you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive." you say, feeling disgusted by his sexism.Ā "we- uh, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too."
you groan, "well what if the women don't want to have sex with you?" you say.Ā "well, sure. but it's still ruined because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and thatā€™s the end of the story. men are very stupid and painfully simple creatures."
"well i guess we're not going to be friends then." you snap, turning to look back out the window. he's such a fucking douche, you can't believe you're trapped in this car with him for ten more hours.Ā 
"guess not." he mutters.
you sigh, "that's too bad. you're the only person iĀ knew in new york."
you slept for eight of the ten hours left, and when youā€™re unloading richie's luggage from your car in front of a small apartment, he nudges you slightly. you look up at him as he towers above you, raising a brow. you hate to admit it, but this asshole is awfully cute when heā€™s not being the devil.Ā Ā 
"thanks for the ride." he says with a soft smile.Ā 
you nod, "yeah, it was... interesting." you say. he smiles, "it was nice knowing you." he offers his hand out to you, and you grip it, his hand warm and rough in yours. "yeah." is all you can say.Ā 
richie steps away, grabbing his things. "well... have a nice life." you say as you get back into the car.Ā 
"you too, y/n."Ā 
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mautadite Ā· 5 years ago
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march book round up
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hey march fucking sucked and april is probably going to continue to do so but hey i read 15 books!!! i havenā€™t been in the mood to write my usual book by book round up (this is already 5 days late) but iā€™ll make a stab at it now.
a hundred little lies - jon wilson ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø m/m romance in the wild west! about a single father who has tried hard to put his criminal past behind him, until his old lover/partner in crime comes moseying into town. this had some really creative story telling and writing that really made the characters shine! i usually donā€™t likeĀ ā€˜old love rekindledā€™ type romances but this was so good.
the ghost slept over - marhsall thornton ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø m/m romcom type romance about a guy whose ex dies and leaves him a boat load of money. he starts developing feelings for his exā€™s lawyer but oh no! his exā€™s ghost is haunting him lol. this was cute, pretty funny (which is something thornton does consistently well). but the wider plot was kinda meh, some of the jokes were dumb, and the ending was weak. good overall, iā€™d say.Ā 
the a.i. who loved me - alyssa cole ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø really adorable and creative romance in a future scifi world between a taxi driver recovering from a traumatic accident and her new cyborg neighbour. it was a good mix of lighthearted and serious scifi world-building, and i loved all the twists. it was the first full-cast audiobook ivā€™e ever listened to, and i liked it for the most part.
the is how you lose the time war - amal el mohtar & max gladstone ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø f/f scifi enemies to lovers romance during wartime, and i fucking loved it. beautiful beautiful writing. a lot of stylistic turns of phrases and symbolism, and i feel like... i donā€™t know, this could have easily NOT worked for me, but it really really did. i loved these characters and their story and how it was written.
untouchable - talia hibbert ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø i donā€™t read a lot of m/f romance but talia hibbert is quickly becoming my go-to. sheā€™s SO GOOD. a single father of two comes back to his hometown, and hires a childhood acquaintance as his nanny. all the usual sparks fly. the beauty of this isnā€™t in the plot, itā€™s in the characters, their unique personalities and problems, and how itā€™s so easy to see yourself in them. i over how she writes about black women and mental illness, itā€™s so so good, and so real.
the winter duke - claire eliza bartlett ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø political intrigue, a far flung icy kingdom, a terrible murderous family and the girl who suddenly becomes the ruler. this took a while for me to warm up to it; i usually donā€™t like court politics and stuff in books, itā€™s not where my heart is. but the mystery and romance really made this pick up for me (cute f/f teen stuff).Ā 
that kind of guy - talia hibbert ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø more great romance from hibbert, this time friends to lovers who have to pretend to date. also thereā€™s only one bed. GREAT TROPES. oneā€™s a 40 year old woman whoā€™s recovering from the emotional abuse of her mother and ex-husband, the otherā€™s the former village bicycle whoā€™s coming to terms with his demisexuality. really great characters and a wonderful story.
the spectred isle - k.j. charles ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø 1920s paranormal m/m romance, post-war, lots of feelings and magic, and a great opposites attract, sorta-enemies to lovers. these characters gave me a lot of good mushy feelings.
the prisoner of zenda - anthony hope ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø very charming, sharp and witty, which i usually donā€™t look for in 19th adventure century novels. it was pretty funny. i really liked the villains, and my favourite quote is about one of them:Ā  For my part, if a man must needs be a knave, I would have him a debonair knave. [...] It makes your sin no worse, as I conceive, to do it a la mode and stylishly.
the henchmen of zenda - k.j. charles ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø an m/m retelling of the above book, which tbh i only read because i wanted to read this one. lots of adventure and excitement, ā€œvillainā€ pov. itā€™s not quite romance, but there was a lot of affection and friendship and it was honestly just a good time.
a memory called empire - arkady martine ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø I FUCKING LOVED THIS. science fiction, languages, linguistics, imperialism, queer characters... there was just SO much good in this, so much wonderful world building, so richly written and delivered. and it was just... idk, at once very new, but also reminiscent of all the things i love about scifi. the identity porn was GREAT, as was the peripheral f/f romance. this might be my fave book so far this year.
a charm of magpies series - k.j. charles ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø re-read. i read this series last year and really really enjoyed it, and felt into the mood for a revisit. i really love these characters ;;
red, white and royal blue - casey mcquiston ā­ļøā­ļøā­ļøā­ļø the cute m/m romance everyone was talking about last year, between the presidentā€™s son and a fake prince of england. it definitely lived up to the hype. i can go either way on stories involving royals and rich people, itā€™s very easy to annoy me with it, but this book did a good job of humanising the characters and making them relatable.
and thatā€™s it for march. iā€™m already four books deep into april, trying to read a lot of lesbian romance because itā€™s the number one soul soother and after the march iā€™ve had, i need it. iā€™m pretty fortunate in this my job hasnā€™t been interrupted, and iā€™m working from home, and i should still have a goodly amount of reading time. stay safe out there guys. <3
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chrysalispen Ā· 6 years ago
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just spent the last week and a half really busy with day job and then cleaning my house memorial day weekendĀ 
i come requesting forgiveness and also bearing saucy nero/wol postcoital banter, as i am wont to do
mayyyy post this on ao3 later today, idk
====
Long moments passed in which the only sound was the rasp of their breathing, hot and ragged and immediate.
After what felt like an eternity, Nero was able to summon the wherewithal to open his eyes. His mind felt smooth and blank, like a hard reset on a systems terminal; everything was just basic sensory input amid the heavy languor weighing down his limbs, and even those were things coming back to him one by one as his breathing slowed.
That much loss of self-control would have normally bothered him, but this time he found he didn't mind so much. For one thing, it was by all appearances wholly mutual: the hands that had slain gods and dragons, overthrown corrupt rulers, and brought low to his knowledge at least two legions of the Garlean Empire were currently draped over his shoulders, loose and relaxed.
He decided he wasn't going to be the one to break their silence, concentrating instead on the soft weight of his partner's body against his own, her skin slick with sweat and chest heaving in shuddering gasps as she tried to catch her breath. There was also the soft sensation of her fingertips in his hair, slowly and gently carding through the damp, tangled curls at the nape of his neck and brushing the surface of his skin, a tiny, absentminded caress that was in turns careful and tender.
When she buried her face in the crook of his neck he caught her scent: the slight tang of sweat, lingering musk, the smell of dust and freshly-cut grass he'd always associated with the smell of the road.Ā Beneath that was the note of Althyk lavender she always carried with her.Ā It made him think of his boyhood home, briefly, but in a kinder light than he'd seen it in years.
At length she exhaled, long and shaking, a mumbled "seven hells, Nero" on the back end of it. His hands wandered over her exposed back in slow and idle patterns, gently tugging her long curtain of golden hair to one side so he could press his lips to her neck.Ā 
ā€œAre you alright?"Ā 
"Never better." The weight over his shoulders shifted and he felt one of her palms running over his collarbone, down across his chest to tangle briefly in the wiry hairs there. "Even if my legs currently feel a bit like the custard pudding they used to serve in Castrum Novum's mess hall."
Nero didn't even try to stop the smug grin he could feel stretching his lips.Ā 
"Is that so?"
"...And I've just admitted out loud that you wrecked me like the idiot I am."
"Surely you were not laboring beneath the assumption that I limit myself onlyĀ to engineering-related accolades? I accept any and all compliments towards my person, sexual prowess included."
He let out a small, startled yelp when she tweaked one of his nipples in warning. "You would, you insufferable shite."
"None of that," Nero chided, rubbing his chest and gently squeezing the fingers that still lingered there, "unless you'd like to stay glued to your well-appointed sofa for the remainder of the evening. I'm sure your neighbours have appreciated the free show."
"You say that, but now you mention it those curtains are mostly decorative. This... might not have been well considered." She pushed herself into an upright sitting position, shifting her hips as the muscles in her thighs trembled from exertion. "Also I'm afraid we've left a bit of a mess."
"I can't imagine why this in any way surprises you, given that 'accosting your hapless partner before he's managed to drop his breeches' appears to be your preferred mode of foreplay. Should I endeavor to express some fond hope for a less frenetic coupling in future, 'tis for the novelty alone."
"Complaints, Scaeva?" she snorted. "You seemed to enjoy the pace well enough while you were fucking me half senseless."
"Only half?" His smirk widened by ilms. "I amĀ out of practice."
Her fingers had not stopped gentling in his hair. He'd observed on other occasions that it seemed to be one of the ways she showed the soft feelings she reserved for people to whom she felt especially close.Ā 
The more he thought about that, the more it started to make him feel something close to uncomfortable. But he found he quite favored her affectionate little touch, more than he wanted to admit if he were entirely honest, and he really didn't want her to stop.Ā 
So he packaged those emotions and set them aside for later consideration. There would be ample time later to analyze this particular bit of self-reflection without spoiling the moment.Ā In the meantime that soft mouth had lingered close enough for him to kiss it, so that was precisely what he did.
"Nero?"
"Hmm?"
"What do we do now?"
"Meaning...?"
"This, I guess? Us? I mean-" One of her hands made a vaguely questioning gesture in the air.
"You're asking if this is going anywhere." He made his way down her neck into the soft hollow where it met her collarbone, leaving small bites in his wake. "...I admit I do not find myself opposed to an arrangement of a more permanent sort."
"I thought you said you don't do love?"
"Pray forgive a moment of vulgarity, darling, but tumbling you hardly amounts to a heart's confession."
"I'm aware of that. I'm not- ...I'm not asking for a commitment, per se. You're busy, I'm busy, and..." He hadn't spoken yet and it made her stomach tighten with anxiety. Nero could be difficult to read on occasion and now was one of those times, his eyes fixed on her face as he waited patiently for her to continue. She decided to plunge on ahead anyway. "It's not you at all, it's just, I don't think I'm ready for. Um."
"Romance?" he supplied mildly.
Aurelia took a deep breath.
"I mean, yes, since you've said it aloud yourself. It's... that's just too much with everything else that's going on. But I wouldn't mind... something like this. Where you stayed here and-...right, well." She could feel the flush on her cheeks and it had nothing to do with arousal. "You're welcome here anytime you like; in fact, I think it would make all of us feel better if we knew you had somewhere to go, even Cid, and maybe youĀ don't care what he thinks but I-"
Nero pressed a finger to her lips to halt the torrent of nervous words.
"Garlond aside, I am not disinclined if that's what concerns you. I think it plain that we enjoy each other's company; there's certainly little point in denying that. Seeing as the both of us are wont to be possessed by wanderlustĀ from time to time it might even be ideal."
"Then you'll stay?"
He leaned forward to kiss her between her breasts, over the scar Zenos' sword had left behind. "I must say, the notion of having a stable roof over mine head doesĀ hold a certain appeal."
"Ah, so that's how it is." Aurelia let out a soft, fond laugh and pressed her lips to the crown of his head. That kiss had been a ploy. He was using it as a bridge point, trailing delicate touches of his lips over the curve of one breast. "Using me for my house, are you?"
"Your house, your food, your potential workshop space. ...Also your wine cellar. My time in Eorzea seems to have made La Noscean red something approaching palatable."
"Are you demeaning my taste in wi-" His teeth scraped lightly against the coral peak he'd teased to stiffness, eliciting a muttered curse from her lips and a prickle of gooseflesh along her arms. She let out something between a gasp and a short laugh, and squirmed desperately in his lap. "Damn it, I'm trying to talk, you cheeky git!"
"And I am attempting to distract you. All's fair in love, war, and housing arrangements, or are you not one to riseĀ to a challenge?"
"... 'Rise' to a-..." She swatted lightly at his wandering hands. "That jest was atrocious even by your standards. Are you looking for another tumble or are you just going to talk me to death?"
"By remarkable happenstance," his lips brushed over hers again, light and deceptively chaste, "my plan at this very moment is to retire to a more suitable venue wherein we might continue this discussion until all possibilities have been exhausted."
"I'm telling you, if I try to stand up right now you will actually see me collapse--Nero Scaeva!" In one fluid motion he rose, tucking one arm beneath her legs and the other wrapped around her waist. Aurelia made a startled little yelp, immediately twining her arms about his neck for purchase. "Rhalgr's shit, you may actually be the worst man I've ever met in my life."
"And you, my sweet, are a public menace. Slayer of eikons. Ruiner of military careers." He adjusted his grip long enough to hoist her upper body over one shoulder and planted a kiss squarely on her flank, making her gasp aloud. "Scourge of unsoiled smallclothes the length and breadth of Eorzea."
"Implying I seduced you," she said a trifle breathlessly.
"Implying you didn't?"
By the time they actually reached her bed the linkpearl was chiming for attention, but for once Aurelia couldn't have cared less.
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